I'm ready

I'm ready to have the confidence of knowing that I look beautiful.

I'm ready for the hard fatigue, soreness, and thrill of knowing that I've worked hard and deserve to rest.

I'm ready to commit to a long term goal, and I'm ready to see results from my effort.

I'm ready to fit into clothes I try on - or better yet, clothes I already own!

I'm ready to look down at myself and feel pride instead of shame.

I'm ready for the respect - from myself and others - for tackling a challenging goal with single-minded attention, and for achieving the 'impossible.'

I'm ready to be fit enough to run a couple miles to keep in shape, to lift things, to go on a walk or up the stairs without being sweaty and winded.

I'm ready to have a healthy relationship with food as fuel and indulgence, rather than as therapy or entertainment.

I'm ready to look at other beautiful women and know that I compare.

I know that what I'm getting myself into is a long-term commitment with a high maintenance, abusive, love-hate inducing hobby. I know there will be days that I will dread going to train, that I'll have things I'd rather do, that once I'm there I'll feel no energy or that what I'm asked to do is impossible. I will push through, giving as much as I can in each workout, knowing that the rewards will be great - inches, pounds, compliments, admiration.

I know that I will want to eat more than I should. I know that I will rationalize and say that "once is ok" or "it was ok the last time." I know that I will crave and want to binge, but I will stay self-controlled. I know that I will think "what is life when I'm always denying myself" and I will remember that being who I want to be, looking how I want to look, requires effort, sacrifice, discipline. I will not eat "fast food" aside from the rarest of occasions, I will eat like a "normal person" at other restaurants, I will hold back on drinking alcohol, and I will drink more water.

I will remember my goals, and the role that is waiting for me at the end of this journey - a fit, trim woman of whom I can be proud and on whom people will look with admiration. On the contrary, if I fail, if I give up, if I am easy on myself, I will have wasted a tremendous amount of time, money, and will have broadcasted my goals so that everyone will know my failure. I will not give up, I will be strong, and will get the part that is cast for me.