Jogging

Jogging has been a real sore spot for me for quite some time (no pun intended). I can remember back to grade school (2nd grade or earlier, since that's as long as I was in school), during the Presidential Fitness Test having to "run" a mile, with the coaches timing us, and even then it was torture to me. I would start off running like everyone, but 1/2 way into my first lap, I'd have to slow down to walk. Miserable.

When I was a dancer and in good shape, jogging carried this warning: "it will shorten your muscles!," so I steered clear. And then in college, even during "Concepts of Fitness and Health" (blarg), I was so out of shape at the time that the best I could do was speed walk around the track. Although there have been periods of decent fitness over the course of my life, including when I was in grad school, working out almost every night, jogging was never a part of my routine.

In addition to getting winded after even 20 seconds of jogging, a big part of my problem has been my calves, the problems with which I've talked about a lot. Jogging, or hell, even walking sometimes, would throw them into a tail-spin of soreness, tightness, pain; so I tried to steer clear of tracks and treadmill, opting instead for an elliptical machine. I think this developed within me a fear of the treadmill: of falling off, of it going to fast for me to handle, of it being so steeply banked that my feet go out from under me and I break my face on the handle bars... you know, the normal rational fears ;)

At the beginning of this year, before I started training with Peggy, I thought I would push myself to do a couch-to-5k plan when my small group from church decided to register for a 5k together. Despite the cold weather at the time, I really wanted to get myself into shape, so whenever possible, I would go to a small track around the corner from my house and "train" there. Whenever there was inclement weather, I would walk/jog/run in place at my house, hoping to at least up my cardio-endurance (nevermind the creaking and shuddering from the timbers under my feet, which were obviously not designed for indoor marching). But however often I marched at home, or walked at that track, my calves would be killing me. So I eventually gave up.

When I started training with Peggy, I told her one of my goals for my time with her would be to run a 5k, or even a mile. I told her I'd like to have a post-training workout plan, which would include running or something I could do on my own, after my year with her is up. At the beginning, she would put me the treadmill (fear! trepidation!) to walk carefully, being very mindful of my shin splints / calf issues. She would put me on a steep hill, to take the strain off my shins, and then I would go for 10 minutes or so, resisting the urge to grip the handles the entire time. This would happen every couple of weeks or so, and I was always relieved when I didn't have to get on the treadmill.

Instead Peggy would put me on the stair stepper or the elliptical machine. She puts those machines on programs (Hill, Interval, Random), at a level just high enough to challenge me, and get me thinking "I'm not going to make it up until 15 minutes." This goes to another point, which is to remember that my challenges in working out have been mostly mental. Usually, I can do it, regardless of fatigue, soreness, difficulty, etc.; I just have to focus on my breathing and keep pushing forward instead of psyching myself out over the challenge. I need to remember this after my training sessions with Peggy end, and I hope I can be as tough on myself as she has been with me.

Anyway, the stair stepper, and the elliptical, and the random bouts of jogging back and forth on the gym floor, and the jumping with ropes of all types (ah, sigh, the rubber-hose rope that hits me in the head every time) have served to get my cardio-endurance closer to where it should be (right now, I'm "Average!"). So the other day, one sunny Sunday afternoon, I decided to go on a walk, at the trail across the street from Samford. I decided early on to stay out for an hour - the length of my workouts - so I set off to walk 30 minutes in one direction, 30 minutes back. After about five minutes of walking, I realized that my heart was still plodding along at a pretty low rate, so I excitedly upped my pace to a good medium jog. After a minute or two, my heart still wasn't about to explode, and I could still breathe easily, but my legs were starting to burn, so I slowed back down to a walk. For the rest of my time out there, I alternated between jogging and walking, and made it back to my car in just over an hour. It wasn't until I slowed down to get in the car that I realized my legs felt like noodles, and it wasn't until I later googlemaps-ed my route that I discovered I had walked/jogged about 3.8 miles. On one hand, I felt very proud of myself, but even my feeling of accomplishment was eclipsed by the dread of the impending soreness I was sure to feel the next day.

Yeap, sure enough the next day, and in fact the next five days, were some of the sorest I have been in a VERY long time. I could barely stand upright, walk without limping, or keep my mouth shut about how sore I was. And it was my own fault. Peggy was not pleased with me having taken matters into my own hands in a way that inhibited her from putting me through my normal rigors at the gym. I spent 2 full workouts in recovery mode, and a third workout with a substitute trainer, trying to get past the soreness. So my bout with "Jogging" continued...

That was at the beginning of November, but since then, Peggy has started putting me on the treadmill more often, usually at the end of my workouts. On the 11th and the 18th, I was proud to report that I had jogged on the treadmill (at speed 4.5, and incline 0.0) for FIVE STRAIGHT minutes (up till then, the longest I'd ever jogged?). Lame, I know. But, stop the presses! Yesterday, after my weigh-in and fitness test, Peggy put me on the treadmill. I warmed up walking (speed 3.5) for two minutes, and then she put me up to 4.5 to jog. And jog I did, for ONE FULL MILE (what what!?). This is officially my most exciting milestone so far. I know for a fact that I've never jogged that far, and I didn't even have to stop to pant along the way. I did the mile in 13:20 minutes, and then cooled down for five or so.

So the lesson learned here, is that even when I didn't realize its happening, I was getting in MUCH better shape, not only cardio-wise, but in terms what my legs will tolerate. My calves are a little sore today, but its not hard to walk or anything. I guess it is all mental, because I am slowly overcoming my fear of the treadmill, and loving the transformation into "jogger."

4 down, 8 to go!!!

Update
I had my 4th weigh in yesterday, and things went well! According to Peggy, I'd lost 10 lbs since last time, and she said it made her day. I think she's more surprised by my progress than anyone, and she's very proud. In reality, I think I only lost 9 or so, maybe 9.5, but sometime I knew that last month's disappointing weigh-in would come out even. On to the results!

the Stats (part 5)

Weight: 160 (according to my weigh-in at home, just before my workout, 157.4 - either Peggy's scale is very different from mine at home, or my clothes weigh more than you'd think). But either way, this is 10 lbs less than last time - so I'm pleased with that! :)

Caliper Measurements:

Tricep: 23, previously 25

Abdomen: 17, previously 19
Thigh: 42, previously 45 (fiiiinally starting to get some of the fat off my legs!!)

Which means 31.0% body fat, previously 32.7%

Other measurements:

Arm: 9 in., previously 10 in - lost 1 inch

Torso: 27 in., previously 29 - lost 2 inches

Waist: 28 in.,previously 30 - lost 2 inches

Hips: 38 in., previously 40 - lost 2 inches

Thigh: 20 in., previously 21 - lost 1 inch

3 Minute Step Test (Heart Rate): 111 bpm., previously 110 bpm. (close enough!) :D, Right now I'm on the low side of "Average." My next goal here is to get down to 102 bpm which would be "Above Average"
Pushups: 32 in 60 secs. or as long as I could go without stopping. This is considered "Excellent"
Situps: 70 in 60 secs. This is considered "Excellent"

Update Pictures, taken today, 11.23.10
I decided to take some more pictures today, to see if there have been any changes since last month. There have been, I suppose, but it may not be noticeable unless you hold the pics up next to each other. Anyway, there's here for the record. :)

Here's a fun fact (not!)

So you know, I've been panicking at these random times when I wake up one morning heavier than the last morning (like, sometimes by 2 lbs or so). I've thought it was me stalling, have dug my heels in deeper, working harder, etc. But still panicking a little in the back of my mind.

So that happened this morning, I woke up 1.8 lbs more than yesterday. I knew there was no good reason - I ate GREAT yesterday, no salt, no diet cokes, lots of light-weight (literally) healthy foods, low calories, etc. So I started thinking, "what the hell is causing this?"

And then it hit me. The culprit. What little over-the-counter drug do I take lots of, but not all that often? Yeap, you guessed it. Ibuprofin. I took a lot of it yesterday, like I tend to do when in pain, and what do you know: water retention! I googled it, and sure enough, this is pretty common.

So I'm happy to know what's been causing all these weird spikes when I have NOT been cheating. And now I'm doing everything I know to do (drinking tons of water, drinking green and herbal slimming teas, eating carrots and watermellon, etc.) to lose this water weight so it doesn't bite me at my weigh-in on Monday. Or at the beach this weekend! Whoo hoo!

So beware... the Ibuprofin!

I fear the inevitable weight-loss-stall is upon me

I've slowed down my weight loss a lot since my last weigh in. It's been two weeks tomorrow and I've only lost 3.8 lbs. I'm going back to my roots. No more chips, pretzels, starchy sides at restaurants. I'm going back to fruits and veggies, food cooked at home, and lean cuisines. Back to drinking tons of water every day. I'm determined not to stall!

3 down, 9 to go!!

Update
So, this was a bittersweet weigh-in for me, because I'm still battling my cold from two weekends ago and I didn't perform as well as I would have liked. Also, because my daily weigh-in progress is in quasi-conflict with Peggy's measurements. I'm sure it will all come out in the wash, and ultimately, the biggest deal is that I'm feeling better, weighing less, fitting back into clothes I haven't worn in a long time - these are the things that really matter.

the Stats (part 4)

Weight: 170 (according to my weigh-in at home this morning, I weigh 167 - attributable to what I ate/drank during the day, the clothes I was wearing, differences in Peggy's scale calibration?) Egh, oh well.

Caliper Measurements:

Tricep: 25, previously 27

Abdomen: 19, previously 23
Thigh: 45, previously 45 (jee whiz, can we get this down, for real?!)

Which means 32.7% body fat, previously 34.4%

Other measurements:

Arm: 10 in., previously 11 in - lost 1 inch

Torso: 29 in., previously 30 - lost 1 inch

Waist: 30 in.,previously 31 - lost 1 inch

Hips: 40 in., previously 40 - lost 0 inches

Thigh: 21 in., previously 24 - lost 3 inches!!

3 Minute Step Test (Heart Rate): 110 bpm., previously 120 bpm.
Pushups: 30 in 60 secs. or as long as I could go without stopping
Situps: 64 in 60 secs.

So you can see, I still did well, just not stellar. Time to turn up the heat on my workouts, according to Peggy; she about killed me doing leg exercises & level 11 on the stepper after doing my fitness test today. According to me, time to keep doing my best at balancing my eating - eating enough calories while eating the right foods. E.g. none of those "addictive foods" from yesterday!

Food addiction?

I recently came across this article after someone had mentioned it on Twitter. After childishly giggling about the author's name, I read through it with mixed feelings.

I can definitely identify with the section directly below. Like everyone, I could happily sit down to a bag of potato chips and polish off the entire thing without thinking much of it. I will start my binge thinking, "I'll just eat a few [insert allegedly-addictive food here]," and before I know it I've closed and reopened the bag several times with a guilty "just a few more."

Imagine a foot-high pile of broccoli, or a giant bowl of apple slices. Do you know anyone who would binge broccoli or apples? On other hand, imagine a mountain of potato chips or a whole bag of cookies, or a pint of ice cream. Those are easy to imagining vanishing in an unconscious, reptilian brain eating frenzy. Broccoli is not addictive, but cookies, chips, or soda absolutely can become addictive drugs.

... Rings a bell, doesn't it? We all have those foods which are drugs for us - for me, in addition to chips, or pretzels, or popcorn, it was fast food - greasy, salty, wonderful fast food, like McDonald's or Guthries. I certainly heard it calling to me from the roadside as I would try to drive home to "eat good" - sounds like an addict itching for a fix.

However, the following rubs me the wrong way. I think that it's appropriate to emphasize choice in the way you manage your own health, or weight, or obesity, if you like.

They would rather ignore this science. They have three mantras about food.

1. It's all about choice. Choosing what you eat is about personal responsibility. Government regulation controlling how you market food or what foods you can eat leads to a nanny state, food "fascists," and interference with our civil liberties.
2. There are no good foods and bad foods. It's all about amount. So no specific foods can be blamed for the obesity epidemic.
3. Focus on education about exercise not diet. As long as you burn off those calories, it shouldn't matter what you eat.

Unfortunately, this is little more than propaganda from an industry interested in profit, not in nourishing the nation.

Do We Really Have a Choice About What We Eat?

The biggest sham in food industry strategy and government food policy is advocating and emphasizing individual choice and personal responsibility to solve our obesity and chronic disease epidemic. We are told that if people just didn't eat so much, exercised more, and took care of themselves, we would be fine. We don't need to change our policies or environment. We don't want the government telling us what to do. We want free choice.

First off, this article just gives people an excuse to be lazy, kinda like the excuses the "fat gene" or "bad metabolism" provided in the past - people think "oh well, I'm stuck like this, so I might as well enjoy it while I can." There has to be some choice involved!

For instance, I'll freely admit that I am a recovering "addict" as it comes to eating - addicted to specific foods, or more broadly, to eating whatever I wanted in whatever quantity while being lazy about exercising. However, instead of attributing my obesity to some "addictive food," I flatly attribute it to my bad choices and my laziness. Acknowledging these things and embarking to change them is what has enabled me to completely devote myself to changing my life (and my weight). If I was back-of-my-mind-sabotaging myself all the time with thoughts of blaming my "addiction" on anything other than my own choices, I would've stayed on the same, unhealthy, unattractive path.

Second, the article belittles the three "mantras" above, describing them as propaganda. Now I won't go as far as to say that those mantras are fact, but do they not make at least a little common sense? #1 - would we really like to abandon personal responsibility for our person in favor of government responsibility? I mean I know we do it for everything else in our lives (sigh), but for our own bodies?? #2 - yes, there are good and bad foods. But you choose to eat them, and in what quantity. I may be drawn to eat more potato chips than I originally intended, but to blame the chip for being delicious and superior to any other food? No, I cannot. #3 - why not educate on both food and exercise? Giving more information is never the problem; however, misinformation like this article (absolving people from their own part of the guilt over eating themselves to death) is not the way to go.

Does my analysis of this article betray a lack of compassion on my part towards those with addictions in general, or just those who blame their struggle with weight on something else, instead of taking personal responsibility? Is it wrong to want to hold people accountable to the choices they make and the rewards and/or consequences that accompany them? Because I am in the midst of a bootstraps effort at turning my health and weight around, my personal responsibility for the results I see (either positive or negative) is of particular importance to me, but do others feel differently? Is it comforting to some to see this article's absolution? I don't want to be cavalier by demanding personal responsibility, because I know that addiction is a very real struggle for many people. I have felt the pull of addiction myself, but chose to turn away. I went back and found this from my first post in this blog, when I said I'm Tired... thought it was appropriate to this topic of discussion.

I'm tired of the addiction pulling me into its gravity.

(almost) Before Pictures

So Peggy and I were talking on Thursday and we both agreed that it would've been nice for us to have taken Before pictures back on July 19th when we started kicking my butt into shape. Peggy would've liked them for her personal portfolio because we've made such progress so far (weigh-in #3 coming Tuesday!!). I would've liked them for posterity; however, I feel like I have plenty of fat-girl Before pictures, such as this one that a moron took while we were at the beach for Jen's bachelorette party:Anyway, later on Thursday my mom commented on "how skinny" I looked, and I told her thanks for flattering me, but that I still had a long way to go (at that point, almost exactly 50 lbs). I decided that since I'm still more "before" than "after" at this point (having lost 35 lbs, needing to lose 50 more), I'd go ahead and take some pictures now, calling them (almost) before pictures. I've sent them to Peggy, but I'm also posting them here, for the record.

So, 10/15/2010, 169.8 lbs:

...and from the side.

So it may not seem immediately obvious, but my posting these pictures on here should speak loudly of how much I trust you, readers. I love you all, and thank you so much for your support of me as I keep going at this!

For now,
BCB

Yes, it's possible to over-ice

the result:

This all happened by my being too overzealous about icing my crackly, weak right knee. My knees are a constant bother during my workouts, but they usually don't hurt until later, when I try to go up and down the stairs at home, or get up off the floor, or whatever you have. I have taken to icing my knee using an icepack and an ace bandage to secure it. These are the icepacks I've been using:

Usually, when I've been icing my knee, I'll secure one of these on my knee, and then sit and work, or watch tv, or whatever, until its completely thawed out, and then I'll replace it with a fresh ice pack. Sometimes will even go to bed with one on my leg. Never had any problems before.

So last night, I had an ice pack on my knee, but when I was getting ready to go to bed, I thought I would put on a fresh-from-the-freezer pack. The one I had on my knee wasn't exactly cold, so I thought it couldn't hurt to get it really cold before going to bed. So I replaced the 1st ice pack with the 2nd, and went to bed. I remember thinking, "gee whiz, this is cold," and in my half-asleep state when I finally unwound the ace bandage and freed my frozen knee, feeling relief to be free from the icepack, but I didn't think anything of it.

Then this morning, as soon as I tried to stand up out of my bed, I knew something was up, because I felt like I had intense sunburn on my leg, not to mention my knee wouldn't straighten out all the way. My first thought was that I might have had an allergic reaction to something in the ice packs (latex?), but it turns out, I had given myself frostburn with my double ice pack situation last night.

I think the difference between last night and my normal icing procedure was that I didn't let the first icepack (and the skin of my knee) completely thaw before going into the second icepack. And I gave myself a nasty burn. Great.

Peggy knew it by the signs as soon as she saw it. Apparently a couple years ago she gave herself a combination icy-hot + ice pack burn, and she still has the scars to prove it (please no scars, that's all my pasty legs need, wtf!). She was very disappointed in my general lack of knowledge about proper icing procedure, but I swear, it only makes sense that if a little bit of ice is good for an injury, a lot should be better, right??

No more icing for me for a while. In the meantime, we've pulled the wedge from my mom's knee surgery up from the basement, and I'm sleeping with my leg propped up on it from now on. Looks comfy, right?

Anyway, be warned. Unless you want to look like you have leprosy of the knee, DO NOT over-ice your limbs. Frostbites a b, yo.

I'm obsessed... er, the case for a daily weigh-in.

Warning: this post might only appeal to the Brittany of 2011 (Brittany 2.0), or to those of you with a fondness for nerdy data analysis.

I admit it, really I do. I've become obsessed with measurements, with scales, with cataloging every thing I eat, with predicting my continuing weight loss trends, with dates and numbers and goals and small steps. I know all this is against Peggy's methodology, since she doesn't want me weighing myself or anything, but I can't imagine how people stay motivated / make corrections to their diets, or goals, or plans, when they don't see any results but for a month at a time. I mean, if nearly a month went by before I realized that my weight loss had stalled, I'd be really down on myself and frustrated that I didn't know it sooner to do something about it. So I advocate a daily weigh-in (weigh-a-day).

My theory is that Peggy doesn't want anyone going to weigh themselves just after a workout (pounds having just been lost by sweating it out), and then to emotionally freak out when they weigh themselves the next morning ("what?!? I've gained weight over night?!? If I'm going to gain weight, I might as well eat something tasty for the extra pounds!"). So she sets this rule that we're supposed to wait for her to weigh us. But I'm not playing the freak-out-over-fluctuations strategy, I'm simply weighing myself each morning, recording it on MyFitnessPal and a handful of spreadsheets (nerdy, I know, I know), and tracking it over time... all very rational, albeit obsessive.

I know that there are those of you out there who say, "its not the weight that matters, its how I feel. That's why I don't weigh myself regularly." If you guys can maintain your weight based on feeling alone, more power to you! But for me, this mentality has been a means of reaching the obese level of weight I was at when I started this journey. "The number didn't matter," so I just let it creep on up there. I didn't even restrict myself when the "feel" of it was wrong, when my clothes stopped fitting, etc. So now, I weigh-a-day.

Still others of you will insist that weight can fluctuate so significantly that you don't want to weigh everyday. I myself know that weight can fluctuate day to day, based on water, time of the month, etc. In fact, one night, I decided to use baking soda to whiten my teeth, and since I don't mind the taste of baking soda, swallowed a whole bunch of it. Turns out that baking soda makes you retain water, maybe even more than salt. Woke up and weighed about 2.5 lbs more than I had the morning before - ack! But anyway, since weight can fluctuate, I don't get upset when I go a day or two at nearly the same weight. But weight shouldn't ever be fluctuating up (unless I've gone on a salt or baking-soda binge, or eat a lot more one day than another), so I continue to weigh-a-day.

These daily weigh-ins help me to know what affects my progress - how much I eat, what I eat, the days I don't work out, etc. There may be slight fluctuations, but over the course of a few days, I can estimate how much weight I should be losing. And then, using my nerdy spreadsheets, I can try to project when I'll freaking reach my goals!! Wheee!

I thought some of you might like to see the spreadsheet I'm using to track my progress so far. I can send you a copy if you're interested in using it for yourself. I've copied from the spreadsheet a chart that predicts my weight (see below). The bottom is my goal weight: 120 lbs. The vertical line represents today. The blue squiggly lines to the left of today are my actual weights, starting waaaay up at 204 lbs, going all the way down to today (171.4 lbs!!). The lines to the right of vertical predict my weight loss, using three different methods. The gray line (I consider this to be a worst-case-scenario-type line) is if I lose 2 lbs/week from now on; that puts me at 120 lbs on April 2, 2011 (sigh). The pink line shows the pace of my weight loss if I continue on my from-the-beginning-of-training (July 19th) average: I'll be at 120 on February 3, 2011 (better). The green line shows the trend of my most recent weight loss (since my last weigh-in on September 20th): it predicts I'll hit 120 on January 18, 2011 (get it, girl!!).



Now the reality is that I will probably be somewhere between green and pink, since continuing to lose weight at this rate (.48 lbs/day) will grow increasingly difficult, the less and less I weigh. I'll put in new copies of this chart every once in a while to see how it changes as time goes on.

Now, for you "the numbers don't matter" sticklers out there, no, I'm not really stuck on the 120 lbs number. For my height (5'4") and "frame" (Medium), my healthy ideal weight is between 108-132 lbs. If I get to 130 lbs (because I'll be a dense, muscly beast) and look the way I want ("feel" the way I want, if you will), then great, I'll stop there. I want to be a size 4-6, be happy in a bathing suit, in shorts, in anything I want to wear. Those are my goals. The chart is clearly not able to predict these things, but really, I want to have a date (or a range of dates) in mind to look forward to reaching my goals, so that I can get to the fun part:

Learning how to maintain this new lifestyle on my own (workouts, eating, etc.).
Shocking people who haven't seen a skinny Brittany since her first year at Samford.
Going to the doctor and not having to worry about what she'll say.
Buying a bathing suit I really love.
Catching someone's eye.
Retooling my entire wardrobe - Clothes I used to love but can't wear now? Skinny jeans? Fitted dresses? Trendy items I don't give a second glance now? Shopping trip, anyone?
A new goal to work on - what should it be?

So that's it, I know it's a boring numbers-based post. But since I started this blog as a way to keep up with my thoughts on this journey as I go through it, I wanted to record for posterity the reasons I find its better to weigh yourself every day. I'm not trying to convince anyone other than Brittany 2.0. Cheers!

Someone called me "Skinny" today

Well really, it went something like, "Girl, you're really starting to look skinny." And then it was qualified with a "What you're wearing is really flattering." But I'm deciding to take it for what it was - a compliment, and a major dose of encouragement.

Now, at 174.8 lbs, I am nowhere near to what anyone would really call "skinny." I've got more weight to lose (54.8 lbs) than I've lost so far (29.2 lbs). But, I'm starting to feel pretty darn good.

Check me out today, in clothes on loan from my stylist, Lala. Thanks babe!!


Keep the encouragement and compliments (even those with qualifiers - lol) coming! You guys are my support system! Love!!

Anddddd yes, this was taken at work, when I was supposed to be doing work. Oops.

2 down, 10 to go!!

Update
So, sorry this is a bit late, but last week was bananas, and then I went to NYC, and now, since I'm procrastinating at work, I've found time to update! :) I had my weigh in last Monday, and want to share my progress, even if its a little bit dated. I'm also wanting to add in some graphs or something; I need to figure out how to do it. Anyway, on to the good stuff:

the Stats (part 3)

Weight: 179

Caliper Measurements:

Tricep: 27, previously 28

Abdomen: 23, previously 25
Thigh: 45, previously 45

Which means 34.4% body fat, previously 35.5%

Other measurements:

Arm: 11 in., previously 11 in - lost 0 inch

Torso: 30 in., previously 31 - lost 1 inch!!

Waist: 31 in.,previously 36.5 - lost 5.5 inches!!

Hips: 40 in., previously 42 - lost 2 inches!!

Thigh: 24 in., previously 24 - lost 0 inches!!

3 Minute Step Test (Heart Rate): 120 bpm., previously 140 bpm.
Pushups: 24 in 60 secs. or as long as I could go without stopping
Situps: 58 in 60 secs.

So, I'm continuing to make progress! I'm encouraged by what I see so far, how I've improved at my different exercise, particularly at cardio. Peggy has bumped me up to levels 10-11 on the stair-stepper, and while I sometimes feel I might die at this pace, I think it's paying off in terms of getting my heartrate down.

I am continuing to work on my eating. Most of the time, I'm eating right around 1200 calories/day. Sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less. I did eat pretty bad while I was in NYC last week (french fries as sides, shake shack, diet cokes), but I've already jumped back on the wagon this week and I'm learning about how you can make up for little indulgences with hard work in the gym and by getting your eating back under control asap.

I would like to continue losing weight (inches, stats, etc.) at this pace for a while, if I can. My secret goal (haha, not so secret now) is to weigh between 145-150 by the time I go on my cruise. This would not only be the least I've weighed in a lonnnng time, but it would put me into the "healthy weight" category for my height (5'4"). As of this morning, I weigh 174.8 lbs, so I need to lose 24.8 lbs in 10 and a 1/2 weeks. In the first two months (9 weeks), I lost 25 lbs; so there's a chance. Keep me on track!

I got some new shoes a week and half or so that I'm starting to use for some of my workouts. They're called Vibram Fivefinger shoes, and they're designed to get as close as possible to barefoot walking, so that you use all the muscles in your lower legs that God intended you to use. I became interested in them since I've had such problems with my lower legs (calf muscles, in particular), and wanted to strengthen them. So far I like them, although you do have to adjust the way you walk/jog/exercise so you're not striking the ground hard, with your heel, but instead using the ball of your foot to cushion the blow.

Check out the info on them Here:

This is what mine look like:That's all I've got for now. Thanks for reading!! :)

I never thought this would be the problem...

So, when I started this new fitness kick of mine, I thought, "go all out" or you'll be sabotaging yourself. So I cut out the foods Peggy told me to (fast food, fried foods, cheese, potatoes, diet cokes, etc.), and started eating only the foods she had either explicitly mentioned or I knew she would approve of (salads, veggies, fruits, chicken, whole grain, etc.). I ate three meals a day, plus a snack in the afternoon. Drank lots of water. Never felt truly hungry, although I had plenty of cravings for food I cut out. Out of curiosity for what I was eating and a desire for more control over nutrients, etc. I joined myfitnesspal.com and started using their calorie counter. Many days after logging all of my food eaten for the day I would get this message:

*Based on your total calories consumed for today, you are eating too few calories. Not only is it difficult to receive adequate nutrition at these calorie levels, but you could also be putting your body into starvation mode. Starvation mode lowers your metabolism and makes weight loss more difficult. We suggest increasing your calorie consumption to 1,200 calories per day minimum.

I chose to ignore this for a long time, thinking it was just because I was eating less than the "goal" calories they had set for me (1200 calories/day). I thought it couldn't hurt anything, that I'd just lose weight faster. But then as I kinda stopped losing weight after the first 14 lbs, I started thinking about the "starvation mode" that people talk about your body going into. I guess I thought it was a myth? Invented to keep people from making themselves anorexic or something? Anyway, the message from myfitnesspal started sinking in, and I realized that the 650-1,100 calories I had been eating was not enough to keep my body going. I started asking questions about this to Peggy and to my friend Shelly, a nutritionist at UAB, and sure enough, I was not doing the right thing... whoops!

The numbers...

Apparently 1,200 is the minimum calories that any woman should eat. My basal metabolism (the calories my body would burn just by existing) is probably around 1,600-1,800 a day (calculated HERE). I figure I burn about 500 calories in each of my 3 weekly workouts (1,500/7 days = approx. 200 extra calories each day). To lose 1 pound, you need to eat 3,500 less calories than you burn. So to lose two pounds/week I would need to eat 7,000 calories less than what I burn, or 1,000 calories each day. So, even if the highest estimates of my basal metabolism hold true, to lose 2 lbs./week I'd need to eat less than 1,200 calories a day to lose 2 lbs. a week (1800/day basal + 200/day workouts = 2,000/day - 1,000/day to lose 2 lbs = 1,000). Well crap. Sooo, I guess 2 lbs./week may be too advantageous a goal until I can get my metabolism up higher (from gaining muscle, improving my body fat %, etc.).

So, now the challenge is to eat both healthy and enough calories. Don't get me wrong, before I started all this, there were many meals (yes meals, not days) at McDonalds or someplace similar that would've gotten me up to and above my 1,200 calories. But to eat enough healthy foods to get up to 1,200 calories is fairly challenging. For instance today, I ate a full sandwich and most of my salad at Olexa's for lunch, a lean cuisine & a 100 calorie dessert for dinner, and I'm still down by 355 for today. Not to mention that I want to lose more than 1.6 lbs/week (2000/day - 1200 = 800 calorie deficit/day x 7 days = 5,600 calorie deficit / 3500 calorie deficit needed for 1 lb. = 1.6 lbs)... grrr!

The first few days after figuring out I've been eating too few calories I ate some of those "bad" foods that can quickly get me up to my count (french fries & onion rings at Blackwells, french fries at Cantina, splurging at Flemming's, potato chips at home). Even doing so, getting up to 1,200 is pretty hard without it leading to me overeating or feeling terrible about my eating choices. Aside from Flemmings & potato chips on Wednesday and Thursday, I'm still below my 1,200: Monday 1131, Tuesday 1170, Wednesday 1,445, Thursday 1,245, Friday 1,036. And I don't feel right about "dieting" while eating fried foods, snack foods, etc. Sooo what to do?

Anyway, I never thought this - eating too few calories - would be the problem. I guess my willpower is stronger than I gave it credit for. Now I've got to figure out what I should be doing (I'm theoretically aiming for 1100 calories), and how to do it (no more "bad" foods!)... Thoughts?

to Brittany of 2011:

On another note, with one month down, I want to remind the Brittany of 2011: if I have made it through this month of stress & disappointments, blow after blow, and am still not eating emotionally, not self-destructing, you can make it through anything! Don't compromise with yourself, keep it up for all we've accomplished through hard work.

1 down... 11 to go...

Progress already!!

Thursday August 19th marked the one month mark since I had started training, so I had my first weight in and check up with Peggy! Pardon my bragging, but check out my progress below.

the Stats (part 2)

Weight: 190

Caliper Measurements:

Tricep: 28, previously 30

Abdomen: 25, previously 29
Thigh: 45, previously 45

Which means 35.5% body fat (improved, but I don't know how much)

Other measurements:

Arm: 11 in., previously 11.5 - lost 1/2 inch!!

Torso: 31 in., previously 33 - lost 2 inches!!

Waist: 36.5 in., previously 39 - lost 2.5 inches!!

Hips: 42 in., previously 45 - lost 3 inches!!

Thigh: 24 in., previously 27 - lost 3 inches!!

3 Minute Step Test (Heart Rate): 140 bpm., previously 150 bpm.
Pushups: 25 in 60 secs. or as long as I could go without stopping
Situps: 51 in 60 secs.

Sooo, needless to say, I'm feeling pretty proud of myself, and take this as encouragement to keep going. Pushing through some interesting challenges... you'll see more in my next post. :)

Progress

MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

So, my friend Josie suggested this iPhone app for tracking calories, and it turns out its really great. I'm using it for keeping up with calories, exercise, and now, my total weight loss. Its now located in the top right corner to keep track. Enjoy!!

Shhhh, don't tell Peggy!

... but I cheated again, and got on the scale. I got back from Orlando and weighed myself, and I have lost another 8 lbs since last Sunday, when I last weighed... so a total of 12 lbs in two weeks - WTF?! Now, the 12 lb total is dependent on the scale at home and at the gym being calibrated equally, and I didn't eat dinner tonight, and there's a good chance I'm dehydrated from being in the car all day, but uhhh, still, I'm pretty pleased with myself. Wheee!!

Also, and Peggy will be proud on this note, I am proud to report that I did realllllly well with my eating while on vacation, sticking to salads and my healthy snacks, drinking only water & one alcoholic drink (gin & double tonic). Last night we went to eat at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company after the park closed and I was so pleased with my discipline (and inordinate amounts of walking exercise), I indulged in a dinner of fries and a small Diet Coke (ahhhh heaven)!

So, it can be done. My self control and denial-of-cravings is starting to pay off. This is so encouraging and will keep me motivated to stay on this track. Whoo hoo!

Workouts thus far

So far, my workouts have been a fast-paced, keep-my-heart-rate-up-the-whole-time sorta deal. I usually start out with cardio (we tried jumping jacks and jogging in place one day, but it may have been what triggered the calf issues so now we've gone to the bike or elliptical). Then Peggy takes me through several 3-4 circuits of exercises that seek to engage all muscles - leg, core, arms - while focusing on one specific muscle. So... some of the exercises, and my "skill" level :

• 15 reps or so doing curls, lift up over your head, lift in front of you, tricep dips, etc., while in a squat position, with weights... I do pretty well with these, though the more tired I get, the more Peggy must encourage me to keep at it and finish the set.
• The rope. Ohhh man, the rope. Its this loooong heavy rope, looped up around one of the machines and with handles for each hand. You flap your arms in front of you, or swivel them round and round, or do a stirring motion, with the goal being to get the whole rope rippling. In a squat position... Wow, this is hard, and I can see how it never gets easier, because you're always trying to get bigger ripples out of the rope. I can barely make it through 30 seconds.
• Planks and "mountain climbers." So basically she starts me out in a boy pushup position, then has me walk my hands out in front of me a few inches, and then hold as long as I can. Between my general weakness (in both arms and core), and my hot sweaty hands, I can barely make it 15 seconds. After the 30 seconds in total, she has me do the mountain climbers, where I hold the position with my arms and core and bring my legs in one by one. I always want to turn my feet and hips out on these, but my knees are supposed to come to my chest. Sooo... I'm pretty bad at this whole thing
• Abs. Various crunches and situps. I'm not bad at these
  
• Step ups on the block - facing front, and sometimes straddling the block. Whoo. This is intense cardio. Gets my legs working, and my core, and I get a chance to work on not turning out my legs or feet (root of the calf trouble, perhaps?). By the end, I'm verrry out of breath

So after some combination of the above (and some more I've left off, I'm sure), she has me finish off with cardio, or peppers cardio throughout. After that, she stretches me out, sometimes focusing on my calf, and then I'm done.

I write all this to be a measuring stick for my progress. These things that are so difficult for me now, that Peggy has to encourage me to keep pushing through, like the planks and mountain climbers, the rope, the block, should only get easier. So remember, Brittany of the future, when you first started, you could only hold that plank for 15 seconds before collapsing into a quivering mess... think how far you've come!

Week 1: Complete!

So, one week under my belt, 51 to go (or, 1.9% complete!) :)

My co-worker KG, who put me on to Evo Fitness in the first place, told me that the 1st two weeks of my training would be the hardest. And week one has been hard in some ways and easy in others.

Hard:

• Going out to eat and not being able to order what I want while others eat whatever they like.
• After my Thursday workout last week, I started having real troubles with my right calf. It was short and tight, and no matter how I coaxed it and stretched it, it would recoil as soon as I stopped working on it. Very painful and scary, because I was worried I might have injured it.
  
• Pushing through difficult exercises with Peggy (the giant rope - ack!)
• The pinch of time and money from my workouts.
  

Easy:

• Once I've ordered something other than what I crave, enjoying what I have to eat.
• Learned how to cope with minor injuries - ice, heat, advil. Working it out at the gym.
  
• Feeling a good kind of sore, a earned-it kind of tired, and the endorphins from exercise.
• Starting to see results - feeling thinner, more energetic, weight lost.

I've been eating well so far. No fried foods, fewer carbs, a lot of salads with balsamic vinaigrette, chicken, fresh fruits, veggies and lean cuisines. Today I had my first smoothie and I currently have tons of energy from it. I've been drinking waaaay more water and waaaaay less diet coke (I haven't had one since the day before yesterday, and just a few sips at lunch, for that matter). I am a little worried about the options that will be available for me when I'm in Orlando this weekend, and how I will deal with my desire to eat more than I should.

There are foods I crave (french fries, carbs, steak, fried anything!), but I crave my goals more than those foods. I crave to be slim, fit, healthy, beautiful. I crave self control and discipline. I crave faster results. I know that I can indulge every so often (rarely!), but I do not have to do that to be happy. My reward, comfort, acceptance does not come from eating or drinking anything.

So according to Peggy, I cheated, but I'll post it anyway - I've lost at least 4 lbs since last week! She says I cheated because I got on the scales at home, instead of waiting until August 19 for my next weigh in and measurement. So, that's the last you'll hear of that until mid-August, but its encouraging nonetheless.

Thanks to all my precious friends who are encouraging me along the way. Ashley told me today that I already looked healthier in my face and that she likes this new Brittany... these sorts of comments mean the world to me, and I could not be doing this without the support of all you guys. If you're reading this, first off, you're a trooper, and second, thanks for being one of my best friends - b/c this blog isn't for just anyone. Love you guys!

to the Brittany of July 2011

Brittany,

You have just finished a year of hard work, and have whipped yourself into shape. You have dramatically changed the way you think about the foods you eat, your fitness level, and your figure. Congratulations!

Now, as a word from me, your past self, to you... don't you DARE let yourself get back into the same position again. Take it from a woman dealing with constant soreness, feeble strength, & low cardio-endurance, you DO NOT want to have to "get back in shape" again. The pain, the mental fortitude to force yourself beyond what your body thinks is possible, the drastic steps you must take (e.g. hiring an expensive trainer)... don't let yourself down!

You remember how we got ourselves into this in the first place. Thinking that eating fast food all the time was not going to have an impact, eating and drinking whatever you wanted, thinking "it was okay last time, it'll be okay again... and again...", putting off working out because you had other things to do, or were just plain lazy... Remember? These are the things you cannot do again!

Instead, keep thinking of food as fuel and (occasionally, an) indulgence, not as your gluttonous right. Make working out a priority, and don't be easy on yourself, push yourself beyond your limits, as you know you are capable of doing. Don't ever think yourself fat (because you can always be fatter), and give up. When you know you've eaten bad, make up for it for a while by eating good or working out more.

Brittany, you can do this. Maintain carefully what you've paid dearly to obtain. Look back at me and remember why this lifestyle must continue.

Love,
the Brittany of 2010.

Rebellion

Day 1

How fickle can I be? I had my first workout (an introductory one, at that), had my butt handed to me, and as soon as it started getting difficult (feel the burn!), I had to work hard at remembering my motivation. Instead of pushing through the pain, it was all I could do to continue.

How at odds can my mind and body be? I am fully committed in my mind, but conquering my out-of-shape body, weak cardiovascular endurance, and quivering muscles is more difficult than I remembered. Not only was my first mini-workout very difficult, my body completed its rebellion when I made it home and threw up what was left of my lunch from "the truck."

As for food... I have listed my meals for today below. My trainer, Peggy, approved of my breakfast and the wrap I had for lunch (pleasant going down but not on the way up... yuk!), but not the french fries. She suggested a salad for dinner, and adding small snacks of fruit (perhaps carrots instead?) or an energy bar in between breakfast and lunch, and between lunch and dinner. I also want to start taking my lunch to work more often (to save money and lose the temptation), but I will have to go to the grocery store before I start changing things up too much.

I'm also not sure that I will make as drastic a change, food-wise, as Peggy suggests. My plan thus far has been to cut out fast food (at least as I define it - the stuff I like to eat at fast food restaurants), drink more water and less diet coke, take my lunch to work almost habitually, and when eating out, order what I'd like, but cut down portions. It think making these changes while having my hard workouts will make quite the difference.

On the other hand, I want to fully commit to this, and following Peggy's stricter instructions will most definitely have me whipped into shape more quickly. If I'm going to pay this much money, I will not ruin it by eating (and paying more money to eat) things that will act against me. Not to mention, give me more energy / less desire to throw up during my workouts. So I will likely try a hybrid approach, indulging in what I want to eat only on occasion, and being careful every other time (especially when I've already had or am planning an indulgence).

the Food

Breakfast - boiled egg white, mini-bagel, grapes.

Lunch - grilled chicken wrap from "the truck," french fries

Dinner - Sesame Chicken lean cuisine

Diet Cokes = 2

Waters = 4.5

the Stats (don't judge, it's only getting better from here!)
Weight: 204
Tri: 30
Abdomen: 29
Thigh: 27
Arm: 11.5
Waist: 39
Torso: 33
Hips:45

3 Minute Step Test (Heart Rate): 150 bpm (Very Poor)
Pushups: 13 (Average)
Situps: 41 (Excellent)

Goals

Size 6-8.
135 lbs?
Run a 5K.
Thighs not rubbing together.
Upright posture.
Firm abs.
Control over food.
Post-training workout plan.
Look good in cute clothes, swim suits, pictures.

Motivation

When you came in the air went out.
Hollywood getting thin or in shape for the part.
Looking awesome and meeting a wonderful northerner at Meg's wedding.
Not being a fat American on our vacation.
Not feeling strangled in my winter clothes.
Feeling happy to dress up again.
Playing confidently on the beach.
The feel of someone's hands on my waist.
Slim arms hanging by my sides.

I'm ready

I'm ready to have the confidence of knowing that I look beautiful.

I'm ready for the hard fatigue, soreness, and thrill of knowing that I've worked hard and deserve to rest.

I'm ready to commit to a long term goal, and I'm ready to see results from my effort.

I'm ready to fit into clothes I try on - or better yet, clothes I already own!

I'm ready to look down at myself and feel pride instead of shame.

I'm ready for the respect - from myself and others - for tackling a challenging goal with single-minded attention, and for achieving the 'impossible.'

I'm ready to be fit enough to run a couple miles to keep in shape, to lift things, to go on a walk or up the stairs without being sweaty and winded.

I'm ready to have a healthy relationship with food as fuel and indulgence, rather than as therapy or entertainment.

I'm ready to look at other beautiful women and know that I compare.

I know that what I'm getting myself into is a long-term commitment with a high maintenance, abusive, love-hate inducing hobby. I know there will be days that I will dread going to train, that I'll have things I'd rather do, that once I'm there I'll feel no energy or that what I'm asked to do is impossible. I will push through, giving as much as I can in each workout, knowing that the rewards will be great - inches, pounds, compliments, admiration.

I know that I will want to eat more than I should. I know that I will rationalize and say that "once is ok" or "it was ok the last time." I know that I will crave and want to binge, but I will stay self-controlled. I know that I will think "what is life when I'm always denying myself" and I will remember that being who I want to be, looking how I want to look, requires effort, sacrifice, discipline. I will not eat "fast food" aside from the rarest of occasions, I will eat like a "normal person" at other restaurants, I will hold back on drinking alcohol, and I will drink more water.

I will remember my goals, and the role that is waiting for me at the end of this journey - a fit, trim woman of whom I can be proud and on whom people will look with admiration. On the contrary, if I fail, if I give up, if I am easy on myself, I will have wasted a tremendous amount of time, money, and will have broadcasted my goals so that everyone will know my failure. I will not give up, I will be strong, and will get the part that is cast for me.

I'm tired

I'm tired of making excuses for myself - for why I eat the way I do, or think about myself, or don't exercise. Adults become who they want to be, and I am the way I am because of my own choices.
I'm tired of thinking of food as a comfort or as a reward when both of those things should come from outside this world.
I'm tired of the way I perceive myself not matching how the world perceives me.
I'm tired of being lazy as a "reward" for earlier laziness - I need to earn that reward.
I'm tired of putting off going to do the doctor, knowing that I am in for a dressing down.
... And the nagging dread that I'm in for health problems in my future.
... And the aching joints tired of bearing more weight than they ought.
I'm tired of thinking that "one day" I'll look the way I want, be fit and able to do the things I want, be attractive to who I desire, and I'm tired of not making steps each day toward my "one day."
I'm tired of looking at myself in pictures and wondering who that fat girl is.
I'm tired of moving past wonderful, attractive men, knowing that someone who takes good care of themselves would have no need for a fat, lazy person so unlike themselves.
I'm tired of being winded, or sweaty, or exhausted, or sore from the least bit of physical activity.
I'm tired of my self confidence wasting away day after day.
I'm tired of settling for men that must be "nice" since they don't have much else going for them.
I'm tired of eating the same things over and over, although their taste is at times even unappealing, because I'm bored, or can't think of something else.
I'm tired of thinking that if I eat bad, I might as well eat real bad... every calorie counts!
I'm tired of the addiction pulling me into its gravity.
I'm tired of my damn thighs rubbing together.
... Of not trying on clothes because I already know they won't fit.
... Of sitting uncomfortably because my body won't conform to the position I'm in, or the clothes I'm wearing.
I'm tired of thinking ahead to the future (next summer, next winter, next vacation) and thinking something will be different... and then not getting to that point.
I'm tired of not accomplishing anything with my life, of wasting my breath, of allowing myself to be constrained and dampened by my "comfort" or "laziness" or lack of confidence... this life is not my own, and every day, every breath, every calorie counts!

I will not remain this way, but I will be renewed, I will be energized. I will stop my cycle of laziness and replace it with self discipline and control. I will choose to eat foods that will give me energy and bring me closer to my goals (while indulging the one-off treat). I will reward myself in healthy ways and realize that self control is a virtue. I will work my ass off and commit fully to my workouts; getting in shape takes work and it is a full time job. I will pursue my goals with commitment and focus and will transform myself into the person I want to be - not "one day," but this day. I will pursue my dreams, push through the pain, beat my body, achieve something, make the most of each meal, each day, each moment, because every calorie that my body burns does count.